My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
