He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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