Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
