so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
