can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
