I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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