You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
