Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
