You just made me feel so damn special
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
