is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize