I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
