Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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