I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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