I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
