He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
