Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
