but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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