You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
