i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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