Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
