Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
