are you still at the devil's house?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
