I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
