I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
