My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
