whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
