We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
