I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
zippers are such a cool invention
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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