the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
