I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
