that's an acceptable place to lick
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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