I puked a lego.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize