I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Green mimosas i think yes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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