Nicole vs. Life
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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