Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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