I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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