I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
