You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
