Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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