I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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