Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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