she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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