My brain says no but my pants say off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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