you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
