and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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