Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
