oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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