dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
