Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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