i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
