No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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