Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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