your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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