My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
