her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
