I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
