There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize