Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
