Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
