It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
