there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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