I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
