He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
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How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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