Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
