Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
