I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
