ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
