I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
